Learning To Be Good Enough For Me
Growing up, Heather never had a weight problem. "Rather, I was naively comfortable in my own skin.” Coming from a family of athletes, Heather was always physically active as well...
After school, she served in the military and spent 9 years in the National Guard. “During this time, I got married and had 2 children. I was 5 months pregnant with our 3rd child when I learned that my husband had been having an affair."
As if the blow of your spouse’s infidelity wasn’t painful enough, Heather found the finger being pointed at her as the reason why.
“After a baby, you’re in your most vulnerable state for your body. So, to hear my husband claim that had I been more intimate or had my body looked a different way, that the affair wouldn’t have happened… is heartbreaking.”
In 2009, Heather moved herself and her 3 children to Kentucky. “I remember thinking “I have less than $300 to my name. I’m about to turn 30. I have 3 kids. I’m living with my mom. And I have no clue what to do with myself. I was postpartum. I just felt sad at where my life was.” To provide an outlet for her emotions, Heather began to run. “I ran because I was mad. I would run… until I couldn’t run anymore. But I soon realized, it just wasn’t enough.”
While married, Heather had given up her career as a massage therapist and preschool teacher to stay home and care for her children. Now a single parent, she had to figure out how to provide a life for her and her 3 children. Heather returned to school to work on a nursing degree… only to be thrown an additional curveball. The family which Heather and her children had stayed with now asked them to leave…. and they had nowhere to go. “I was prepared to take my kids to a homeless shelter. And the day before we were headed to the shelter, I received a letter saying we approved for Section 8 housing.”
Over the next 3-5 years, Heather’s life slowly began to turn around. “I earned my RN degree. I got a job as an ER Nurse. I purchased a house by myself… because my kids deserved to grow up in a neighborhood and have a driveway to ride their bikes. I cancelled section 8. The happiest day of my life was calling to say ‘I don’t need these services anymore’.”
During this time, Heather had begun dating again. Yet, while her career and financial life were on the mend, she still battled self-esteem issues from the infidelity of her previous marriage. ”I was still getting the message from society and men that I didn’t fit the physique stereotype that culture sets for women.”
I was barely eating, and became really thin. I’ll never forget my turning point; I had fallen asleep while relaxing in the bathtub. The next day I discovered two bruises on where my bottom rested in the tub. I was so thin… the pressure of the bathtub had caused bruises!”
Heather began to train herself in the gym.
“I needed to get strong. I was ready to fight back against the mentality that had been placed at my feet of ‘I am not good enough.’ I began to be good enough for ME. The gym became my therapist office. It became my happy place, and left me feeling powerful and invincible.”
Her fitness journey is driven by so much more than just her physique or own self-worth; “I am building my daughters up. I want to show women how strong they are. I am tough as nails and never would have known it if I hadn’t gone through all of this.”
Heather’s desire to not only inspire other women, but to also become relatable to them, propelled her into the next milestone. Heather began Babies to Biceps, a program to assist women during all stages of having a child - prenatal, labor and postpartum. “I wanted to be with women in their moments of change in becoming a mother. I wanted to help women understand just how powerful they are.”
As Babies to Biceps evolved, Heather’s desire to help even more women also grew. “I have such a fire in my soul to help as many women as possible. I knew that I wanted to touch every single women and say ‘I love you. Let’s be a badass. Let’s do this.”
In 2017, Heather joined Sisters in Shape as an online coach. “I love the sisterhood that the SiS online community offers. Online coaching gives me the reach to help and connect with more women globally.”
As if this mom of 4, ER nurse, and personal trainer doesn’t stay busy enough…. she’s far from complete in her personal or professional journey.
“Eighty-five percent of women on this earth will have a baby at some point in their life; once postpartum, you’re always postpartum. I’m in the middle of getting a pre and post natal certification to be really pregnancy and postpartum specific.”
Heather has some advice for women who struggle with self image or have fitness goals they hope to achieve:.
“Nobody else on this planet is going to do it for you. And nobody else is going to want it more for you than you want it for yourself. You have to be honest and vulnerable with yourself. Recognize your weaknesses and find power for them.
Because you have NO idea how strong you are …and how far you can go… Until you step thru your veil of fear and find your success on the other side. The only choice you have is to stop, roll down that hill…. or keep going. Doesn’t matter how slow or fast you go… as long as your moving forward, you’re still going forward.”
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